It has been brought to the management’s notice that Group Treasury staff have not been given priority in certain circumstances when toiletry duties are being carried out.

From now on the following rules will apply:

When using the toilet, Group Treasury staff should be allowed to finish their toiletry duties before non Group Treasury staff start. This is to avoid either accidental spillage over Group Treasury staff member’s shoes, or, making them feel ill because of the pungent aroma emanating from the cubicle.

Please note, if a cubicle door is locked and you need to start your toiletry duties but you are unsure of whether or not a Group Treasury staff member is in the cubicle, please shout in the general direction of the locked cubicle, "excuse me, are you a member of Group Treasury? " If the answer is "Get lost you pervert" it is probably not and it would be safe to commence your toiletry duties.

If you are unsure whether or not a member of staff urinating is a member of Group treasury, then please ask them if they have done any good deals lately. If they say "I got a roll of brown tape for Doug last week", then please answer "sounds like a good deal to me", and commence your toiletry duties.

Remember, Group Treasury staff get first knockings on the hand drier and shaking of water off from hands within 3 feet of a member of Group Treasury is forbidden. It is acceptable to allow a member of Group Treasury to dry his hands on your clothes if he is waiting for another member of Group Treasury to use the hand dryer. You must not accept any small change off of him by way of a tip!

The Management.